20 Funny Sales Quotes: Ways to Pump Up (& Inspire) Your Team

Funny sales quotes are a lighthearted way to boost motivation and inspire your sales team.

Salespeople must continue to pacify the buyer, gain their trust, and make a sale without losing composure and motivation. As a sales manager or a concerned teammate, here is how you can keep your team inspired and pumped up.

First, let’s dive into why you should share funny sales quotes.

Why Share Funny Sales Quotes?

Sharing funny sales quotes with your team reminds them that sales can be fun! Repeated rejection is a part of the sales process, so a short, funny diversion can keep spirits up and make their daily workload easier to face.

As a sales manager, you can create a more comfortable selling environment with funny quotes while increasing the quality of your interactions and relationship with your team.

You can also employ it as a strategy to increase their confidence when prospecting, pitching, or making sales calls.

When delivered correctly, funny sales quotes can increase creativity and provide deep insight to salespeople.

Ways to Use Funny Sales Quotes To Inspire & Motivate Salespeople

Using funny sales quotes can inspire, motivate, and provide your team with valuable insights when they need it most.

For example, you might start a strategic sales meeting or conclude a team check-in with a funny motivational sales quote to inspire creative thinking and new ideas.

Sharing funny sales quotes with team members can also build stronger relationships and strengthen personal interactions amongst the sales team.

You might also use sticky notes to place quotes on boards, printers, coffee machines, and water dispensers can also be a good way to keep quotes top of mind.

20 Funny Sales Quotes to Pump Up Your Team

What are some good sales quotes? How can you use the best sales quotes to inspire your sales team?

With perfect comical undertones, these sales quotes are motivational, inspiring, and uplifting, focusing on many aspects of sales and business.

To get started, here are just a few funny sales quotes that’ll pump up your sales team (say “pump-up” like Hans and Frans for the full effect).

“My sales objective is to get my prospects to look at my products the same way I look at bacon.”

Kurt Mortensen, Author

“Before I do anything, I ask myself, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And, if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.”

Dwight Schrute, The Office

“The best paying hard work in the world is selling, and the poorest paying easy work in the world is selling.”

Zig Ziglar, Ziglar on Selling

“If they don’t give you a seat at the [negotiating] table, bring a folding chair.”

Shirley Chisholm, Politician

“Prospects are perishable — handle with care.”

Zig Ziglar, Author, Salesman, Professional Speaker

“To be clear, though, what I’m not talking about is that crazy brand of over-the-top enthusiasm, where you’re yelling and screaming and flailing your arms about as you go on and on about how amazing your product is. Not only is that completely ridiculous, but it’s also the easiest way to get your client running towards the exit.”

Jordan Belfort, Entrepreneur

“Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with you.”

Zig Ziglar, Author, Salesman, Professional Speaker

“The elevator to health, happiness, and Success [for a salesman] is “out of order.” You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”

Joe Girard, Salesman, Motivational Speaker, Author

“Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, “Make me feel important.” Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.”

Mary Kay Ash, Businesswoman and Founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, Inc.

“Only fools and dead men don’t change their minds. Fools won’t, and dead men can’t.”

John Henry. Patterson, Industrialist and Founder of N.C.R. Company.

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are vegetarian.”

Dennis Wholey, Television Host and Producer

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

Will Rogers, Actor, Performer and Commentator

“Doing [market] research on the web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly.”

Roger Ebert, Film Critic, Journalist, Screenwriter, and Author.

“You can take and nail two sticks together like they’ve never been nailed together before, and some fool will buy it.”

George Carlin, Comedian, Actor, Author and Social Critic.

“In Russia, as I sat there day after day wearing headphones, listening to the interpreter struggle to make our words relevant, I wondered if we could establish meaningful rapport with a nation that had never seen raisins dance in dark glasses on TV…never had a garage sale.”

Erma Bombeck, American Humorist

“Some salesmen think that selling is like eating—to satisfy an existing appetite; but a good salesman is like a good cook—he can create an appetite when the buyer isn’t hungry.”

George Lorimer, Journalist, Author and Publisher

“Why miss a SALE at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? I’ve found that the opportunity to save that nickel really makes people say YES to buying a NEW duck.”

Jarod Kintz, Author

“You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can sure sell a bunch of books if you have a good one.”

Jayce O’Neal, Pastor, Author

“You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new. ”

Steve Jobs, Entrepreneur, Industrial Designer, Business Magnate, Media Proprietor.

“The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is not training them and keeping them.”

Zig Ziglar, Author, Salesman, Professional Speaker

Coaching With Funny Sales Quotes

Keep some sales quotes in your repertoire that speak directly to your sales team. You’ll never have to think about what to say to motivate your sales team.

Maintaining a collection of funny sales quotes is an excellent tactic when you need to pump up your sales team.

Don’t wait till your team is in a sales slump to keep creativity and inspiration up in the office!

Start sharing these funny sales quotes early and watch how eager and confident your sales team will get with selling.

20 Funny Sales Quotes: Ways to Pump Up (& Inspire) Your Team

Why Share Funny Sales Quotes?

Ways to Use Funny Sales Quotes To Inspire & Motivate Salespeople

20 Funny Sales Quotes to Pump Up Your Team

“My sales objective is to get my prospects to look at my products the same way I look at bacon.”

“Before I do anything, I ask myself, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And, if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.”

“The best paying hard work in the world is selling, and the poorest paying easy work in the world is selling.”

“If they don’t give you a seat at the [negotiating] table, bring a folding chair.”

“Prospects are perishable — handle with care.”

“Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with you.”

“The elevator to health, happiness, and Success [for a salesman] is “out of order.” You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.”

“Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, “Make me feel important.” Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.”

“Only fools and dead men don’t change their minds. Fools won’t, and dead men can’t.”

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are vegetarian.”

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

“Doing [market] research on the web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly.”

“You can take and nail two sticks together like they’ve never been nailed together before, and some fool will buy it.”

“In Russia, as I sat there day after day wearing headphones, listening to the interpreter struggle to make our words relevant, I wondered if we could establish meaningful rapport with a nation that had never seen raisins dance in dark glasses on TV…never had a garage sale.”

“Some salesmen think that selling is like eating—to satisfy an existing appetite; but a good salesman is like a good cook—he can create an appetite when the buyer isn’t hungry.”

“Why miss a SALE at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? I’ve found that the opportunity to save that nickel really makes people say YES to buying a NEW duck.”

“You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can sure sell a bunch of books if you have a good one.”

“You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new. ”

“The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is not training them and keeping them.”

Coaching With Funny Sales Quotes

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